Making a tit of oneself

I’ve noticed something daft about the residue of a relationship gone wrong.

It’s a funny paradox, that where there was trust before, a shadow of it lingers after it has been destroyed. That shadow means that sometimes, the love-crazed idiot who can’t let go, finds his or herself continually beating at the issue, sending the ‘loved one’ messages from the broken heart, even after they don’t care any more.

The more that happens, the less they care. So why do we do it? (Yes, yes, I hold my hands up, I do know this type of fuckwittery reasonably well).

Let me count the ways:

1. We think it isn’t really real – that in a minute the ‘loved one’ will see the light and realise what they lost (they won’t – it’ll make ’em want to run away).

2. We think they don’t deserve to carry on as if we never happened. Especially if we’re struggling with that. (Whether it seems fair or not, they will anyway).

3. Maybe we think they should be punished by being forced to see the inside of the busted, still bravely beating heart. (Punishment really isn’t the way to get someone to love you. Check it).

4. We want to somehow make sure that we weren’t just a blip, or an insignificant nothing in their life. (Probably you weren’t that, but sending messages after the fact will make them glad that you’re not there any more, you crazy nutter!)

5. We want to tell them that we’re okay and that life is going on as normal, just in case they thought that them leaving us was the worst thing that could ever happen (it was, but hey ho, it’s called life).

As a writer, I have a tendency to rip out my beating, bloody heart, and show it to the world. This is problematic, especially for anyone thinking about falling in love with me. However, it’s excellent fodder for creativity, so at least there’s a silver lining in there!

Remember folks: messages after the fact are naughty, silly, faintly ridiculous, and smack of desperation. Don’t do it!  (Yep, she’s still fighting text messages from the one from the time before. Regrets the day she taught him to text. Hey ho).

Image c/o movingforwardmatters.com

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