As a dedicated heterosexual woman, I believe that there is nothing sexier than a man who writes words of passion, adoration and devotion to a woman. As long as they are both two mutually consenting adults, in any case.
Love letters might be a bit out of vogue, but hell, people still write them. Why? Any situation where the lovers are separated is a reason to write a love letter, and this means that love letters tend to originate from four camps:
- Unrequited love
- Love broken down
- Clandestine relationships
- Long distance relationships
Most relationships are none of the above, and it would seem that when other types of communication are used all the time, love letters fall into the garbage bin of byegone possibility.
The thing is, they create anticipation, and there’s nothing like anticipation for stoking a girl’s ardour.
So, your mission for today is to write a love letter of the strongest possible wording to your dear one, even if they don’t even know who they are! Don’t worry, I can’t actually make you send it 😉 That would be classed as unethical magick. But as an exercise it can really help you figure out how you feel about someone.
Walking the line between mush and sex
Your letter’s salutation is the first thing your babe or dude will read. ‘Dear …’ has to be one of the most formally dull ways to begin, so lose that immediately. Keep it informal, and show the light of your life that you adore them in the very first line.
Mushy is acceptable to an extent. If you both tend a little towards petnames and similar, you can probably get away with more than if you have a more ‘functional’ relationship. Sexy is also super acceptable. Mush is not good if you know your lover will immediately puke into the nearest wastebin.
Good examples of suitable mush and / or sexy include: ‘Hello my last bite of delicious pumpkin pie’, ‘My darling angel of the south’, or ‘Hey my little sex grenade’. I’m sure you can do better. Note the use of the word ‘my’. It doesn’t so much signify possession as it does togetherness, although I’m not sure of the extent of the subtlety.
Oh, and sexy is good; wordporn is maybe a little too far, unless you have the kind of relationship where you’ve been titivating each other’s sexual desires for some time. So, ‘My gorgeous sex-bucket-of-cum with the silkiest labia ever,’ may be a step too far, or it may be perfectly acceptable. Make that call carefully.
The main body of words
Struggling to think of something to write? Don’t think you have to be mushy! You don’t. In straightforward language, the way you talk if you like, tell your lover why your life is better for knowing them. Don’t use too many fancy words and don’t write in marshmallow-sweetness just because you can’t think of anything else to say.
It has to be meaningful.
Tell them how badly you want to be with them, and how that makes you feel, physically and emotionally.
Tell them how closely they match up with the person you always imagined you’d be with, or the time you first noticed them.
Tell them why they’re a stand-out person, and what you have in common, and the things you want to do with them when you get together. That’s right, I said with them. As in wholesome activities.
Then tell them what you want to do to them. The Devil’s in the details. Go for it! Harness your imagination and ride them through the possibilities, whether that’s snogging on a rollercoaster, or shagging in the most delightful way.
Say goodbye (hopefully not to your relationship)
Say it in the nicest, most cherishful way possible, but remember that simple is best. My favourites have been ‘Goodnight my shining star’, and ‘with all my love, always’. With a tiny injection of imagination, you can tailor your goodbye to your angelically sexy lover with a one-in-a-million ending, as long as you stay true to yourself.
That’s the thing with love letters. It’s no good pretending to be someone you’re not, because ultimately you will meet up. It has to be authentic. That way it will really mean something to the other person in your life.
Sentimental people tend to hold on to love letters; I can’t speak for the rest of the population. I have a couple on real paper, from back in the olden days when people used to mail things through the post, and I have a mountain of e-lovies from a more recent delightful, though traumatic tryst.
I don’t quite dare to go back through those just yet, I suspect they will still make me a little wobbly, and that’s the point really; love letters allow you to capture a time when you felt amazing about your lover, filled with all the dopamine and serotonin that your body can muster.
So get your laptops and tablets out, and write yourself into someone’s history. The chances are that they won’t have ever received a love letter before, so it’s a great way to stand out as special!
Image c/o www.elobservadormas.com.uy