Look, there’s a problem.
It’s a big one.
People don’t say ‘I love you’ enough. They just don’t.
Most of the candidates I can think of off the top of my head are male, but some are female and it may just be down to the fact I know more women, and the passionate fiery types I know well are more likely to say emotional stuff.
What’s wrong with saying ‘love you,’ or ‘I love you’ to the people that you love?
It becomes a habit
Maybe we’ve all tripped the trap of establishing loving habits like ‘I love you’ (before bed, or when you go to work) early on in a relationship; as we fall out of love, we keep on saying it.
This happens either because the other would know we no longer love them and we can’t figure out how to get round that, or because we aren’t connected to ourselves properly to realise how we feel.
But what about when you mean it?
What’s wrong with just saying it? It never gets tired when you mean it.
My best friend at university unknowingly taught me how to say ‘I love you’. She always said it to her mum and dad, and her sister and brother. I don’t know if she ever said it to a man. Being the magpie copycat that I am, I took it home with me, and started telling my parents it.
We still say it now, though at the time my mum poo-pooed the need to be so ‘mushy’ or ‘sentimental’. She does it loads now; she’s a loving texter (she will say that she always said it in letters anyway, nothing to do with my input ;)).
The benefits of saying ‘I love you’
I dunno. It’s visceral, but you can’t miss the wonderful wash of feelings and general well-being that flows in both directions when you say it. How that feels is up to you. Everyone feels love in a different way, don’t they, but perhaps that’s the point: everyone feels love.
So say it! For the good of mankind, say it, at least to the people you care about, and mean it.
‘I love you’ is a bit like magick. It works whether you believe it or not.
Giving love is a habit
It’s just like being happy! What I’ve found is that even people who think they don’t need ‘I love you’ melt into its usage in endearing ways. It really does break down barriers.
I’ve used it like a weapon of love on friends who have great qualities but are difficult to get on with, gruff, tough male friends who roll with it for fear of being told off otherwise, and randomly when I’m having a good day.
There are all kinds of ways you can say it so that you don’t sound like a soulful idiot. Just try it out if you don’t know how it’s going to sound. And work it till you find a sound you like. It’s easier to be spontaneous when you’re not worried about how daft you look.
So here’s your challenge for Wednesday!
Tell someone you love them, and mean it.