I’ve often read that people who experience an uplift in their spiritual consciousness also sometimes find that they lose friends – sometimes very close friends – around that time. Various spiritual guru types seem to put the trend down to how those people’s lives are no longer compatible with your new spiritual freedom. The suggestion is sometimes that those friends may be of a low vibration, or that they are – or their mission in this life is – oppositional to your increased vibrational level.
In all cases, we are advised to let those people go and allow everyone to move on. People often come into our lives for a reason, and go again once their job is done. I’ve noticed this before – not in direct relation to spiritual stuff, but in everyday life – people drift in, and drift out again, and some stay and are present in and out of our lives over many years, never too close but never far away in spirit, while others spend an intense period with us, and then disappear from whence they arrived.
Well, I’ve had two ‘friend incidents’ in recent weeks, and who knows if they were in direct relation to my spiritual uplift. I know, however, that my responses from any that have gone before, and to me, that’s why the spiritual uplift has been so important.
1. One friend of 14 years decided (probably) that her commitment to Christianity meant that she could not continue her friendship with me. Our differences in spiritual paradigm and practice were too different. In fact, our differences in the way we treat people are completely at odds. I would never be able to just walk away like that without giving the friendship the opportunity to spark up again. Even this time, I still sent her an email looking to repair the bridge, though firmly refused to back down.
Although I am disappointed that she has made this decision, and baffled that anyone would ditch a friendship over religion – I am happy to argue till the cows come home, but I won’t stop being your friend – I can honestly say that I don’t mind. I guess if she wants to be friends one day, that’s fine; if she doesn’t, then I don’t wanna anyway, yes?
I have so many valuable people in my life, I suppose I’m so rich that I won’t really miss one penny, even if that penny was pretty special to me.
That’s my new found self-esteem talking, by the way. A year ago I would have been on her doorstep weeping by now.
2. Another friend, one whom I had only known about 18 months, but with whom I thought I was quite close (I told her everything, put it like that), showed her true colours in technicolour form. She landed me in hot water by telling all that I had told her in confidence about someone – to the person themselves, and not in a nice, caring way towards them or me.
It was only after that incident that I realised she had never liked me all along, but had been nurturing me for the sake of her husband’s friendship with my now ex-boyfriend. Scary, huh? Glad that one’s out of my life.
The thing is, friends are funny people. They can lift us up, and tear us down. They know all our secrets, which is why it is so devastating when we fall out with them.
They get mad when they see you being treated badly, and can say some terrible things about your boyfriend or other half, just because they want you to be okay. In fact, they can say some terrible things about you to you, just because they want you to be okay.
But if it doesn’t come with honesty and loyalty, then their friendship isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.
Be yourself, no matter what.
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